Unpaid
Starshadow
The sickening clarity that every gift you gave was a bribe — and love never had a way in.
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Three a.m., I crack wide open
I reach out raw, no mask at all
I hit send and hold my breath tight
Like I’m bracing for the fall
I’ve walked for miles on bloody feet
When called I’m right there at your door
The first time I say “I can’t breathe”
There’s not a soul here anymore
Oh, I see it now, I see it now
I thought the doorway had a fee
I paid before you even asked
And I was never truly free
My yes is just a bribe for love
I pay in silence, pay in skin
I shove the change into your hand
To buy my way back in again
They say real love should come unpaid
But I’ve been paying to be sure
I’ve paid so long I’m deep in debt
yet still a ghost outside your door
Now every “it’s fine” I have said
Rings like small change inside my teeth
A tip jar full of swallowed words
A tab I pay to get relief
I paid with time, I paid with sleep
I paid by making myself small
I paid with every swallowed “no”
Till I was barely here at all
Oh, I see it now, I see it now
I’ve watched this ending all before
You change the faces, not the game
I always vanish just the same
My silence is a bribe for love
I pay in silence, pay in skin
I shove the change into your hand
To buy my way back in again
They say real love should come unpaid
But I’ve been paying to be sure
I’ve paid so long I’m deep in debt
Yet still a ghost outside your door
What if I come with empty hands
No coin to push, no calm to sell
What if I let the silence stand
And see who’s here without the spell
If love is real, it walks in free
No ticket, list, or entry fee
I’ve always paid before I knew
who’d stay with me with nothing due
My kindness is a bribe for love
I sacrifice behind my grin
I shove the change into your hand
to buy my way back in again
They say real love should come unpaid
But I’ve been paying to be sure
I’ve paid so long I’m deep in debt
yet still a ghost outside your door
Oh, I see it now
If I stop paying… who stays?
Unpaid
I reach out raw, no mask at all
I hit send and hold my breath tight
Like I’m bracing for the fall
I’ve walked for miles on bloody feet
When called I’m right there at your door
The first time I say “I can’t breathe”
There’s not a soul here anymore
Oh, I see it now, I see it now
I thought the doorway had a fee
I paid before you even asked
And I was never truly free
My yes is just a bribe for love
I pay in silence, pay in skin
I shove the change into your hand
To buy my way back in again
They say real love should come unpaid
But I’ve been paying to be sure
I’ve paid so long I’m deep in debt
yet still a ghost outside your door
Now every “it’s fine” I have said
Rings like small change inside my teeth
A tip jar full of swallowed words
A tab I pay to get relief
I paid with time, I paid with sleep
I paid by making myself small
I paid with every swallowed “no”
Till I was barely here at all
Oh, I see it now, I see it now
I’ve watched this ending all before
You change the faces, not the game
I always vanish just the same
My silence is a bribe for love
I pay in silence, pay in skin
I shove the change into your hand
To buy my way back in again
They say real love should come unpaid
But I’ve been paying to be sure
I’ve paid so long I’m deep in debt
Yet still a ghost outside your door
What if I come with empty hands
No coin to push, no calm to sell
What if I let the silence stand
And see who’s here without the spell
If love is real, it walks in free
No ticket, list, or entry fee
I’ve always paid before I knew
who’d stay with me with nothing due
My kindness is a bribe for love
I sacrifice behind my grin
I shove the change into your hand
to buy my way back in again
They say real love should come unpaid
But I’ve been paying to be sure
I’ve paid so long I’m deep in debt
yet still a ghost outside your door
Oh, I see it now
If I stop paying… who stays?
Unpaid
